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Preschool Day One and Preschool Day Two (and mommy madness in between)
We last left our heroine lamenting her booblessness and vowing to harm the shins of unsuspecting, well endowed upon the chest women. Both of Z’s teachers are fully equipped with what appear to be comfy...
View ArticleIt’s Not Me, It’s You.
Dear Lady I Don’t Know: Oh, hi. You probably can’t hear me over the screaming toddler in this stroller. Did you spring yourself without your children from the jail called home? Good for you! Or, do you...
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The Threeness That is Now You
You refuse to say you are a big boy. “No, Mommy, I the boy.” Or, “I Spiderman!” Early Saturday morning you woke up and called me from your recently converted toddler bed. “Um, Z? Just get out, buddy.”...
View ArticleRuination
If you’ve read here a while you know how badly, how absolutely badly, I want to work from home. There are days when it is all I can do to drag myself from the bed and show up at work. Usually, I get to...
View ArticleBlogHer Syndication
Today, I have another post syndicated at BlogHer: That Time My Kid Was Kicked Out of Daycare. I wrote it here originally, a few months after our settlement. I do want to emphasize, now that I’ve reread...
View ArticleSave the Leopards
A week or so ago the boy woke at 4:32. First he asked for avocado, then juice. I reminded him of the time and the darkness and the fact that I’d only been in bed since 1:45. Then he said his stomach...
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Wanna See My Butt?
I thought I was mistaken when the boy said this to his father the other night. I was sure I misheard him until I heard my husband say, “No, I do not want to see your butt. Wait, did you just ask if I...
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If My Baby Falls Down the Stairs, Don’t Call the People (even though it’d be...
This boy. He runs and jumps and propels himself through doorways at a speed I am still not used to. The girls, as I’ve said before, could not have been more docile unless I’d smoked way more crack. The...
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Conversations with a Three-Year-Old
Me: Did you lick your sister’s hair? Him: Yes. Me: Did I ask you not to do that again? Him: Yes. But. Don’t thwart me, Mommy. Me: (a pause) Carry on. You deserve it. * * * * Him: Mommy, whatcha makin’?...
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Development
I knew it before the pediatrician said it. I knew that my son needed speech therapy for pronunciation/articulation. His F’s are P’s and V’s are B’s and th is p and draw is raw and need is meed but he...
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